Total Pageviews

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Eff The Truth


I was with my friends last Sunday evening. It's been a year we haven't met and it takes forever to have a meet up. We've talked too much topics, since been ages we don't have that feeling. Well.. They were my old best friends. Still, the good rapport is there.

One of the topics, engaging us a lot.

My friend is getting married. Typical coffee chat, kebanyakan kawan aku semua nak kahwin awal. Tak tahu lah mende aku seorang je gaknye yang takde pulak perasaan nak kahwin awal. Yeap, even I was in a relationship before but I never plan to get married early. Or I'm just a weird? Should you count me in?

Whatever it is.. it's up to you lah then. The good thing is always be the good things kan, congrats. :)

Time flies so fast. It's like yesterday I just stepped into the world. It's like yesterday I just hear mother called me, - a baby. And now I just realized, people changes. Even a lot. But to be truth, memories don't. Memories remain forever. No matter how hard you're trying to erase, but they still cross on your mind.

I can't speak, I can't write, I can't sing to express my feelings. I've been hitting delete so many times already I'm beginning to think this isn't gonna help after all. I write, and I delete. I write it again.. And I deleted them all. What the fcuk.

My heart isn't broken, no. More like it's on the verge of something I've yet to unveil, yet to really know for sure. If my feelings could be animated within things, it would be like a time bomb gone haywire. It's going back and forth, pumping loud and hard and suddenly hiding away in a corner 2 seconds later. But I'm more like to slap those douche bag around me. Especially YOU. Yes, you.

The funniest thing is I'm not even sure if it would blow up in the end or simply reduce to a cold, silent idleness. I heart does hurt, if that's worth mentioning. You know how it feels when it hurts so bad that you could feel a stinging tension in your neck, like a scream is begging to be let out but is denied. At the end, what am I going to do? Cry for couple of days so that I can get things off my chest? Nope. I got no feeling. Because sometimes I hit the clueless button.

And tears, they're almost there, just almost. You can't cry because you aren't really sure about what to feel despite the pain. So you have on this really ugly, confused expression; trying hard not to blink at the same time because those tears aren't supposed to be contained in the first place.

The truth always hurts. Maybe that's not too correct, but it sure is close. What the heck was I thinking?

I'm not even sure about what to do or think or whatever. I guess I passed judgment way too early.

 Actually, An Alel is having a phase so called move on phase. Screw you Alel and what...so...ever